Inspiration vs. Castration
It’s 4:00A.M. and I am still wide awake. I swear I have not slept in days. I guess having a job that lasts 9 long hours, in a real office, with real things to do has been more of a shock to my mind and body than I originally thought it would. Okay, okay. Having a job period. Being an adult is so stupid. I never really understood the people that proudly say things such as “I got a job when I was like, three years old because I wanted to be responsible and start taking care of myself.” WHAT???!!! Who wants to take care of themselves? Let me clarify. I am talking about not wanting to pay the rent and the medical bills for your recent nose job. I don’t mean having someone bathe and feed you. I am beginning to understand why so many people have mid-life crises and/or affairs with 19 year old secretaries. It’s because they have to pay bills. They have to take care of themselves and they probably all had jobs and walked 40 miles to school in the snow every morning without shoes uphill when they were three just like all the other proud-to-take-care-of-them-self-ers. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not scared of hard work. (Well maybe a little) Just don’t tell me that it’s more satisfying to pay your electric bill with money you earned at a job you hate as opposed to using money you did not earn. That is bull shit. I don’t want to be an adult and I sure as hell don’t want to take care of myself. I want to do whatever I want, when I want, and not have to answer to anyone. I don’t want to pay bills. I don’t want to be employed unless it’s as an actress in a part that interests me. Now, where does this leave me at this point? I know where your thoughts are going. I also know that most of you that know me could probably see me pulling an Anna Nicole, but no, not even I could make myself do that. I guess all this means is that someone is going to have to give me a well paying, interesting, acting job really soon or I might starve. Yeah, right. How could I ever be genuinely worried? Everyone knows here in Hollywood everyone’s dreams come true, and no one ever starves.
